Category Archives: Sex Jokes
A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, tell me something that will make me happy and sad all at the same time.”
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Bungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off from a granny.
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A man walks into a bordello bar in New Orleans and says to the madam of the house, “I would like to see Madelyn.”
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A man that survived a shipwreck is stranded on an island with 6 other men. He walks up to the leader of the island, after 2 weeks and no sex, and asks, “Hey, what do you do for fun around here?”
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Two men and a woman are trapped on an island and can’t figure out how to leave the island. The trees didn’t float and couldn’t be made into a raft and so on and so forth.
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A girl walks up to a guy and says, “My boobs are like radio players. If you give my left boob a twist, that’s for the tuner. My right boob is the volume. Go ahead, try it out.
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A guy with a small one is getting ready to get it on with a super hot chick. Before they start she tells him, “I want 12 inches and I want you to make it hurt!”
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John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
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A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest. ’’Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.’’
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A husband and wife that had little kids decided to disguise the word sex as ‘washing machine’.
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Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill’s wife Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress!
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There are five kinds of sex. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon; you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face.
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An old farmer is dying and is on his deathbed, puts an ad in the paper stating, “Old Farmer Dying, can have farm, land and money, if you marry my daughter”
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A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?”
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An old man comes down stairs in the morning, eats breakfast with his wife and gets up to leave.
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An old lady goes over to her sons house to see how he is doing. She knocks, but nobody answers the door. She decides to just walk in.
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An eighty five year old man goes into the confession booth and tells the priest that he met a nineteen year old last night in a bar.
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