Category Archives: Republican Jokes
“Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger.
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“Dick Cheney was overheard in a conversation the other day. He said if John Kerry wins, there will be another terrorist attack.
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“Although the waters have receded from New Orleans, it’s still a huge, huge problem and will be for months to come.
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“Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity grew to 92 percent.” –Jay Leno
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“Cheney says he feels terrible about what happened. The man he shot was his friend and if he could, he’d give him the central processing unit right out of his own heart to make up for it.” –Jimmy Kimmel
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“People are saying Scooter Libby is taking the fall for Cheney.
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Q. What’s the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
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Network TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of “Survivor,” the popular TV show.
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Things Republicans Believe
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
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New Republican Definitions
alternative energy sources – New locations to drill for gas and oil.
bankruptcy – A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations
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How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
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The Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of President Bush. The stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
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You Might Be A Republican If…
ou’ve named your kids “Deduction one” and “Deduction two”
You’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
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George W. Bush walks into a bar and says, “Hey, friend, can I have a beer?” The bartender replies, “Nope.”
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Dick Cheney walks into a bar, and declares, “Shots all around!”
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President Geogre W. Bush announced today that he is changing the nation’s emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects his administration’s official political stance.
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Why does Laura Bush like to be on top when sleeping with George?
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I heard there is a horrible disease that is sweeping across the entire world. It will affect us all.
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Answer this question in all honesty. It might be tough to come to a conclusion, but do you very best…
You’re in Miami. There is a hurricane and everything around you is flooding. There are huge masses of water all around you. You are a professional photographer, and you are in the middle of this great [...]
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