Category Archives: Political Jokes
Former pres. Bill Clinton was at a baseball game. Before the game a secret service agent whispered in his ear.
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“Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger.
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“Dick Cheney was overheard in a conversation the other day. He said if John Kerry wins, there will be another terrorist attack.
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“Although the waters have receded from New Orleans, it’s still a huge, huge problem and will be for months to come.
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“Cheney says he feels terrible about what happened. The man he shot was his friend and if he could, he’d give him the central processing unit right out of his own heart to make up for it.” –Jimmy Kimmel
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“People are saying Scooter Libby is taking the fall for Cheney.
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John Kerry was jogging down the street and sees these kittens in a pet store window. He asks the owner, “What kind of kittens are these?”
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While visiting his niece, an elderly man had a heart attack. The woman drove quickly to get him to the emergency room.
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Q: How many democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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It is said that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat…which makes sense.
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Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, [...]
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George Bush is sat in the oval office one morning, reviewing the Iraq situation with his republican buddies.
The door opens, an aide walks in….”Bad news Mr President…we have just received word that 4 Brazilian soldiers have been killed in Iraq.”
President Bush drops to his knees, puts his face in his hands and starts sobbing uncontrollably.
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Ralph Nader, Al Gore and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun.
After a healthy lunch, and a massage all three decide to go to the sauna.
On the way to the sauna they find a strange man sitting at the entrance.
The man looks at them and says, “Welcome to the gentlemen’s sauna. [...]
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One day, three boys were walking down the street when all the sudden they see a man drowning in the river.
Instantly the three boys run down to the river, jump in, and end up saving the drowning man.
After they pulled the man from the water they realized this wasn’t just any man, it was their [...]
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Clinton walks out into his garden one day and in the snow he says “bastard” written in piss.
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Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest.
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George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan.
The doctor said: “Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.”
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George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, “I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me.”
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Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter asks,
“You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”
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George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson on politics. First he asked the kid to write, “The President”, on the blackboard.
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