Category Archives: Medical Jokes

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up on the examining table, and started to [...]

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery: Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy. Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop! Rusty! Come back with that! Bad Dog! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

A man goes for a prostate exam. The proctologist is checking him out when he discovers a roll of hundreds in the guy’s colon. He pulls it out and counts the money. “You’re not going to believe this,” says the doctor. “But I’ve just found $1,900 inside your rectum.” “Hmm,” says the patient. “Well, I guess that [...]

A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, “Well that’s great. Some a**hole’s got my pen!”

The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up. “He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all [...]