Category Archives: Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny went to the drugstore to buy some condoms. He walked up to the Pharmacist and asked, “Can you tell me where the ribbed condoms are?”
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Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class, “Can you all name different body parts that we all have two of?”
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The preacher looked out of the church’s window and saw Little Johnny sitting on the curb smashing ants with his finger and saying, “God damn ants, God damn ants”. Horrified, the preacher rushes outside to confront the boy.
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Little Johnny went into his parents bedroom and he saw them having sex. Little Jonny said “What are you doing Dad”
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One christmas Little Johnny received a bicycle. With so much happiness he went outside to ride it. Hepulled up at a stop sign next to a cop on a horse.
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One day the 3rd grade teacher told the class to go home and watch something on tv about sex and the next day they would have sex education class.
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Little Johnny’s father said, “Let me see your report card.”
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Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were placed into four seperate jars.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”
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Little Johnny comes home from school and says to his mom, “Mom I’ve got a problem.” She says “Tell me.” Johnny tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn’t understand. She asks him what they are. He says “well, pu**y and b*tch are the words”.
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
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One day, Anna, had her first case of pms and she was bleeding everywhere. Afraid to tell her parents what was going on, she ran outside and saw Little Johnny.
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New Boyfriend

A teacher wrote on the blackboard. “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
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Johnny gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink. His little brother Billy hears him and gets up, too. On the way to the kitchen, they hear noise coming from their parents’ bedroom and decide to peek through the keyhole. Johnny goes first. “Oh, my!” he says, backing away.
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Little Johnny is in math class one day when the teacher calls on him. “Johnny, if I gave you $100,” she says, “and you gave $25 to Mary, $25 to Sally, and $25 to Lucy, what would you have?” Johnny thinks for a second and answers, “An orgy.”
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Little Johnny returned home from school, informing his father that he received an F in arithmetic and a stern spanking. “What happened?” asked the father. “Well,” little Johnny said, “the teacher asked ‘How much is two times three?’ and I said ‘six.’” “But that’s right!” said the father. “Then,” said little Johnny, “she asked me, ‘How much is [...]
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Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Johnny?” “My goldfish died,” replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls. After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, “Boys are better than girls ’cause you haven’t got one of these!” Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that [...]
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One day Little Johnny was sitting at school when this teacher called him to her desk. “Johnny did you cheat off of Mindy’s test?” “How did you know?” Johnny asked. “Becasue on Mindy’s test one of the answers read: ‘I don’t know’, and on yours it said, ‘Me either.’
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Little Johnny lives on a farm. He gets up one sat morning and asks his mom for some breakfast. His mom says, ” You have to do your chores first, so go milk the cows, feed and water the pigs and feed the chickens. Then you can have breakfast”.  Johnny protests and says ” But I’m [...]
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